.001 ♑ Audio | Video | Text || Action

[usednightmare]

[The recording begins with sounds of someone fumbling to get a good hold of the PokéGear. Mumbled swearing about buttons and fingers, before for a brief moment a squinting Gamzee can be seen, in all his new found human glory. He doesn't look particularly happy, all things considered. What with the snarl-cum-smile tugging at his lips and making his expression something best described as feral. If you're that observant, you might notice bits and pieces of a Drowzee sharing the screen. A snout by Gamzee's face, and hands on his shoulders, as if trying to reach onto the PokéGear. Also, it seems Gamzee is shirtless for the moment. It's gone soon enough, as he finally figures out the text function. The last shot before the video ends is of him shoving at the Drowzee, expression somewhere between an unpleasant grin and an exasperated snarl.]

this is just a motherfucking joke.
CHOICEST MOTHERFUCKING JOKE OF THEM ALL.
it's all really well fucking done.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.
even if it's just a fucking waste of a brother's time.
TRYING TO AVOID THE INEVITABLE.
like it could been fucking avoided.
THEN IT JUST UP AND STOPS BEING INEVITABLE.
so that ain't it, right.
IT BE MORE THAN SMOKE AND MOTHERFUCKING MIRRORS.
or shitty jokes without a decent punchline.
LIKE BEING TURNED INTO ONE OF THE HORNLESS, PINK MOTHERFUCKERS.
it's more like a game to kill time.
AND CONFOUND A BROTHER'S PAN.
shit be all up and understandable now, though.
UNDER MOTHERFUCKING STANDABLE AS IT CAN FUCKING BE.
so let's play the shit out of this game.
BRING THE FUCKING MIRTH AND THE SCREAMING LAUGHS.
and see what kind of joyous carnival you've all got goin on here.

[If you happen to be near New Bark Town, you might have noticed Gamzee. Mostly because he's the half naked kid occasionally headbutting a Drowzee - and deeply regretting it every time he does, turns out human skulls ain't as resistant as troll ones - as his partner helpfully tries to grab his PokéGear and Gamzee tries to make sense of the newfangled technology at his disposal. Also, he's in his underwear, clothes unhelpfully stuck to nearby bushes. Someone had a slight panic upon waking up pink and hornless, alright? Just be glad Drowzee managed to distract him long enough he didn't get to take off his underwear. It might still happen though.]

Comments

text;

[timelymaid]

that was incredibly fast my goodness
although given what you said i guess you dont remember!
were swimming in time shenanigans as per usual
whos surprised
no one
hm
you should really invest in a coat gamzee!
find someone to sell you one
if you need extra cash to pay for it tell me and ill wire you some
also im pretty sure there isnt a carnival of any sort
although therell be cake in a few days

text

[usednightmare]

whoa there, sister.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN TEXT.

text

[timelymaid]

in what sense
d0 y0u mean its n0t like this
because i dropped that a sweep ago
after i went god tier and came back to life
but that pretty neatly sorts you timeline wise so thanks!

[usednightmare]

you're mother fuckin welcome, i guess.
IS THAT HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN HERE.
a whole fucking sweep.

[timelymaid]

oh no!
four months
which is like
four perigrees i guess???
human time measurements :(
but im from at least a sweep ahead of you timeline wise
from back home i mean
since youd definitely know i was alive otherwise

[usednightmare]

i guess you would up and have the know, chica.
TIME BEING YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN THING AND ALL.
and not mine.

[timelymaid]

yep im definitely an expert on it so no worries
by the way if youre interested in a dark type pokemon
i have one that belonged to you
for some reason

[usednightmare]

a what.

[timelymaid]

a type of pokemon
that yellow pokebeast with you is a drowsee i believe
its your partner
point the gear youre holding at it for more information on the pokemon
like attacks and gender and stuff
droswees psychic type though i do know that much
there are different types
they have strengths and weaknesses

you know what
basically were in fiduspawn flarp version
there explanation gold

[usednightmare]

huh.
NEVER DID FUCKIN GOT ALL MY UNDERSTANDING UP AND ABOUT THAT SHIT.
but i guess that makes sense.

[timelymaid]

yeah i think only a few of us ever played
obviously tavros
me a little
a few others
but best explanation i can think of

[usednightmare]

you've always like them motherfuckin games, right.
BEFORE YOU WERE DEAD AND BLUE AND METAL Y.

[timelymaid]

i was more into flarp and rpgs that i was into fiduspawn
but i played with tavros
so correct

[usednightmare]

so share some of that miraculous clarity with a bro, here.
WHAT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING POINT OF THIS SHITASS GAME.

[timelymaid]

haha thats the thing
no ones figured it out yet!
although if youre a breeder your stated purpose is to encourage the pokemon to breed
and if youre a trainer your purpose is to challenge gyms to battle i guess

[usednightmare]

what one be fightin up against, then?

[You say battle, he hears slaughter. It works out just fine, right?]

[timelymaid]

gym leaders
they have teams of pokebeasts to battle
when you beat them they give you a badge
along with other spoils
you train your pokebeasts to defeat theirs
thats basically it

[usednightmare]

so if you want those badges that fuckin badly.
WHY DON'T YOU UP AND BLUDGEON THE MOTHERFUCKERS TILL THEY GIVE THE SHINY SHIT UP?

[timelymaid]

well besides the part where i dont want to do that
i assume that would get you thrown in human jail
but thats not really my concern
as karkats the one who has to deal with that

[usednightmare]

what the fuck is a jail?
AND WHY THE MOTHER FUCKIN HELL DO I GIVE ONE SOLITARY FLAMING SHIT ON A STICK ABOUT IT?

[timelymaid]

yeah as i said
not my problem karkats problem!!
but its a place where humans get locked up i guess??
none of us have been taken there yet
somehow
despite an inordinate amount of death threats

[usednightmare]

i guess i'll ask him.
IF HE MOTHERFUCKIN SHOWS UP AT ALL.

[timelymaid]

what do you mean by that
hes obviously on his way
its not the first time and its not going to be the last time
that one of us drops everything to go pick up someone coming back

[usednightmare]

pft

[He'll believe it when he sees it.]

[timelymaid]

wanna make a bet?